Someone said to me, “I’m angry, but I’m gonna refuse to be angry. I’m not going to be like ‘them.’ I’m gonna love, not hate. I’m gonna ‘Love Thy Neighbor.’”
Some people put words of love about. I’ve seen phrases of love written on work cubicle walls. “Love wins,” “love always,” “love not hate.” They love, lovety, love, love. But what does that really mean? People’s actions are rarely loving. Maybe “love” is not the answer.. Or maybe using the word “love” means something other than what was intended.
I don’t “love” my neighbor, I tolerate them, in a polite manner whenever possible. Sometimes I’m not polite, and I say something frank, or outright rude. But when I fail, I resolve to try harder the next time. Try not to show my emotion… try not to show my open book. I tolerate my neighbor. I have even learned to find humor with my neighbor; sometimes humor AT my neighbor; but always I tolerate them.
Why is that so bad? I don’t wish vengeance on them, and I don’t participate in Schadenfreude….joy at another person’s expense. I hope to empathize, and if I can’t do that, I don’t put myself in their presence.
You don’t have to “love” your neighbor. I think others feel the same way, but when someone says, “Love Thy Neighbor…” love used as a useless platitude… “love” shuts the door on any useful conversation about resolution of conflict. After all, “Love Thy Neighbor,” it’s biblical law.
Recently at an Anti-Trump rally, some local Republicans were holding their Lincoln Day fundraiser at a restaurant across the street. About 150 protesters stood outside in the windy cold and chanted at the Republicans who entered the establishment. Some of the popular chants were, “show me what democracy looks like, this is what democracy looks like,” and “Lock him up,” and “hey hey ho ho, Donald Trump has got to go.”
But the most popular chant was “Shame.” And the majority of the local Republicans walked right past the protesters. Some of them even flipped the bird. They were unphased by chants of 150 of their neighbors yelling “shame” to them personally. One of them would later write on Facebook, “You are on the wrong side of history! You did More harm for your cause than good last night. Yelled at older community members who have contributed lots to this community. Resources and sweat equity! What is you all's record!”
Part of me was not happy to see them verbally confronted, because many were elderly. Wealthy elderly, but they are my elders. I like old people the way other people find babies irresistible. What the old say interests me, and they often say the darndest things. I enjoy their company.
But the elderly Republicans that rolled up to that event, leaving their car keys with the valet, are not in danger of losing housing due to the Federal Government not paying Social Security Allowances.
One protester, a teacher who was there with a group of other teachers, voiced her reservations about chanting “shame.” After all, these were our neighbors. I told her I could understand her perspective, and wondered, what would be a better chant?
What could persuade our neighbors, our rich elderly neighbors, who feel that they have contributed more to our local community than any other neighbor standing in protest? What could persuade them not to give any more local dollars to the Republican party? Especially a Trump Republican party that is taking hard-earned tax dollars, giving the wealthy the largest tax breaks in history, and in return cutting our services? Services for our most vulnerable neighbors, like the elderly in nursing homes, elderly living out in the community with the assistance of community care programs, elderly who depend on adult protective services to stop them from being abused?
I noticed during the protest that occasionally someone would start to chant, “love not hate.” But I found I couldn’t say that. I could not make myself believe it. I tolerate my neighbor, I certainly don’t “love” them. I noticed that the chant, “love not hate,” didn’t catch on with the crowd.
Soon they were back to “Shame, Shame, Shame.”
Gayle Richardson is a Macomb mom.
The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of TSPR or its license holder, Western Illinois University.
Diverse viewpoints are welcomed and encouraged.