My dad, Tom Howard, shared many little wisdoms that have propelled me through life. “Help others less fortunate” and “eat dessert first” were a few of them. One his most useful pieces of advice was, “Surround yourself with positive people.”
I have been thinking a lot about that last one lately as the US government is being burned to the ground and democracy is being replaced by fascism (it’s time we call it what it is.) I have always made a point to cultivate friendships with the kind of people who lift others up, who find solutions to problems rather than cast blame or fall into a victim mentality, and who want equality and justice for all.
My life partner, Doug, is one of those positive people. He has a glass-half-full mindset and when I veer into the half-empty side, he is there to refill my cup. But too often these days I tell him I want to move to some other part of the world where dictators aren’t declaring war on their own citizens. Where people—especially people with darker skin—aren’t living in fear and with the anxiety of what atrocity—or Epstein file distraction—will be next.
There are many people in my rural community who still support, even celebrate, the cruel and unlawful actions this administration is taking. These church-going neighbors who claim Christ as their savior support masked ICE agents zip-tying children and knocking mothers to the ground. Come on, people. Even the Pope is speaking out now with the reminder that that’s not what Jesus would do. While these locals are most often outwardly friendly and helpful, those qualities are often extended only to those who think, act, talk, and look like them.
As I see Fox News playing 24/7 on neighbors’ televisions, I can’t help but think that if I want to surround myself with positive people, I not only have to leave town, I need to leave the country. Because Fox News and the like aren’t just spreading lies in rural Iowa, their distorted facts are broadcast across the nation. And the propaganda has turned otherwise peaceful, community-minded citizens into mongers of hate. If only they understood they were being misled. If only they would step out of their insulated pockets of the country and travel. Because like Mark Twain wrote, “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.” Portland and Chicago would be good places to start. They would realize these cities are not war zones, at least they weren’t until POTUS unleashed the military on them.
In truth, the urge to leave the US behind has been plaguing me since November 2016. I can usually dismiss the thought, but since bad actors like Stephen Miller and Russell Vought have been aggressively implementing their Christian Nationalist agenda, I lie awake at night mentally packing my bags.
If I did move out of the country, where would I go? And would it even help? After all, there is unrest all around the globe.
I saw a social media post by author Pam Houston, who is currently traveling in France, and it partly answered that last question. She wrote: “The thing about leaving the country, even when it is only for a handful of days, is that you realize the massive psychic weight, the shame, the fear, the anxiety, the terror on behalf of all the other beings that call the US home that is crushing all of us every day. Getting out for a breath lifts that weight, if only a little.”
The reality is that as long as I’m with my partner I won’t be moving overseas, but I do need a break from the “massive psychic weight” Houston mentions. I found a free week on my calendar and booked a flight to Italy, where I will be joining several other American friends who are also grieving the state of the union.
To quote Mark Twain again, “Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.”
It’s been ten years since I’ve been to Europe. It’s time to take a breath, step away from the anxiety, and broaden my view.
I’m privileged to have the means to travel, and for that I’m grateful. I’m also grateful for the wisdom of positive people like Mark Twain, Pam Houston, the late great Jane Goodall, my partner Doug, and especially my dad, who I’ll be thinking of while I’m in Italy eating gelato and pastries—before dinner, of course.
Commentator Beth M. Howard is an author and filmmaker in Donnellson, Iowa. Her website is theworldneedsmorepie.com.
The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of TSPR or its license holder, Western Illinois University.
Diverse viewpoints are welcomed and encouraged.