I am out with lanterns looking for myself, Emily Dickinson wrote. And so it is, in women of a certain age. Women who start to feel invisible, who ask, where’s my light gone?
When I was a little girl outdoors on a warm summer night, I often pulled the light off a lightning bug, placed it on my ring finger, and danced and twirled among the hundreds of blinking lights that filled the lawns. It was pure joy. I’d not heard the term, bioluminescent beetle – I didn’t even really wonder how they lit up, I just thought it was magic. And I was all about magic. Those lightning bugs, or fireflies as many refer to them, use flash patterns to attract mates. The light is a signal not a life support system. I know that, because as an adult I was worried that I’d injured or killed those magical beetles. I like to think not. Fireflies synchronize their flashes so that an entire tree can be seen flashing on and off. All of us know the joy of stepping out on a June night to enjoy the light show, it brings a sense of nostalgia – maybe because we know they’re disappearing.
Lightning bugs spend all winter in a larval stage, emerging in early summer. And you will have noticed that you don’t see as many anymore. Declining habitats have threatened the population. Endangered.
This got me wondering about myself and friends who worry about our dimming lights – or about our lights just going out completely. Aging gives us pause to wonder, does anyone see my light anymore? Why do I feel so out of touch in a world that has changed so much since the days I danced with the fireflies? What happened to the magic?
Well, it’s still there, I tell myself. I just know it. On reflection, I believe a woman must have a purpose. For me, as I age, I’ve learned that my identity isn’t just about myself, it’s about my impact on the world – how have I – how AM I – impacting those around me, and thus, the world. Aging, hopefully, teaches selflessness. It forces us to embrace being one with creation; to realize I’m not the center of the universe, I’ll let the sun do that shining. But how do I stay energized, creative, a light? I feel young on the inside for sure. But am I sharing that light? Can anyone see it? Am I relevant?
A study has shown that surrounding yourself with things from your youth help you feel young. Also, brisk walking, coffee, listening to music from your youth.... easy! And a big recommendation for feeling young is surrounding yourself with young people. Not just your children and grandchildren.... young people you wouldn’t normally associate with. People of different backgrounds, beliefs, lifestyle. Many people get stuck in only socializing with others in their socio-economic circle who share common interests. Because aging can make us feel out of touch, alien, with young people. We think they must find our opinions, thoughts, even feelings, as unimportant. Outdated.
This hit home with me as I’ve had the opportunity in the past six months to connect with several young people in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, within the 50501 movement. Six months of togetherness – of friendships formed that I wouldn’t have experienced otherwise. Young people of diverse backgrounds and experiences. It made me realize I have a light after all! Mutual respect exists; they see me! And I see them. Perhaps I bring experience, hopefully wisdom, while acknowledging that they are the lights of our future. There’s a metaphor, history knocks, and someone needs to open the door. An opportunity for change often presents itself in critical times, and we’re in a dark time. Now is the time to let your light shine, and I guarantee you, when you do, you’ll find your freedom. In a world of technology that feels overwhelming to many of us, it is a realization to learn that compassion is our true strength. Lighting the way for others is a purpose. It’s hard to travel in the dark, be the light for those who come after.
The firefly has been around for millions of years, spreading their magical light with an ancient technology. We can learn so much from them...how to shine by being authentic and by encouraging the light in others.
Jeanne Clark is a political activist, retired housing compliance officer, and fiber artist who believes in speaking truth to power.
The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the university or TSPR.
Diverse viewpoints are welcomed and encouraged.